non-productive reminiscing

its been a non-productive night. project-wise..
but what else can i do besides the wholly consuming thesis.. !!! :-ss it's eating into my BEING..!!! plus the fact that i have a presentation next week doesn't help either.. adds to the stress. and its already friday.
so after staring at my butter paper without producing anything on it for ever so long, i turned on my music. i 'rediscovered' babyface today. its been sitting in my playlist. untouched and unlistened to for ever so long now. his songs are what i'd call strong and powerful. in meaning and music. the kind of song that i'd just like to turn down the lights and listen to.. my definition of a candle song.
songs can make me relate to certain times in my life. i only really listened to babyface on his 'seven seas' album. in it are songs which i can't even remember the names to..!! because i've been listening to so many others. babyface was f4 to me. 7 years ago. wow..
sheila majid now. she also reminds me of secondary school. for the simple fact that sometimes the radio would play malay songs on the way to school in the morning.. was it hitz fm then??? i forgot. or radio 4. hmmm.. really can't remember. mornings are really interesting. i can recall many 'happenings that have happened' in the early hours before the bell rang -
my first birthday wish of the day; a first hello; a glimpse of whichever guy i had a crush on at the time (hehe); an unwanted stare; the passing of a fateful letter; a good morning with a brush of shoulders; catching up on gossip outside a friend's classroom; getting drawn into an unwelcomed early morning conversation; a knowing glance; collecting fees; collecting books to be inspected by whoever was the 'mr. inspection'.
things like discovering a grasshopper in my pencil case was unforgetable either. and trying to squeeze that baby grasshopper back into someone else's bag.
things that could only happen in secondary school - lending someone my dictionary and having it written on all over just to see what my reaction was; walking pass a classroom and there would be yells of some geezer's name; keeping a 'lyrics booklet'; finding it fun to be the first to follow the schoolbus on its rounds 2 hours before school starts; also finding it fun to be on the bus when its stuck in traffic after school and then reaching home 2 hours after school lets out; virtually running, speeding to the bus when the bell rings for end of school; spending hours on a connecting corridor on the 4th floor watching a basketball game.. and never forgetting, being taught to smile. one of my first lessons of life in my first year of secondary school.

after effects

tutorial this morning was nerve wracking and mind wringing as usual.. reena asked a question then would look at me.. AS IF I HAD ANSWERS!!!! well in actual fact i should have, but my 'area of coverage' before the 11am appointment this morning wasn't that broad. (so what else is new..) i'm ALWAYS stressed out before a tute. because its so FOCUSED. on ME!!! in her OFFICE. its SUFFOCATING.... and i ALWAYS surrender from brainstorming the night before a tute. i just want to retire! into my blankets.
but i got over the tute.
and everything was fine again..
and i went shopping with my girls.
wednesdays will be full on days for me in the future. 8am class. 9am tutorial for that class. 11am meeting with reena. then yoga at 5 or 6. i cna't remember. then i'll just come home and DROP DEAD. heh.

ruling king street

went to king street again today. this time during after office hours. since it's a friday, there were still loads of activity going on in the city.. unlike other days when after office hours it'll be 'dead'..
there were people walking around. still in their suits.. most of them headed for a beer or two or more. the bars were all packed. BARRE, RYDGE HOTEL's bar, BELGIUM BEER CAFE, and some other cool looking places that i didn't catch the name of. would i be tempted to do that if i were to be one of the working people? a drink or two after work. or a smoke or two. more people smoke here than in msia. everywhere i go during the day, there will be some office workers skulking around somewhere having a fag. backlanes, corners, seats, in the sun, out of the sun, alone, in a group, seating, standing.. its like a culture, smoking is. here.
well anyway.. today's king street venture was only a short one. after that i spent my evening browsing through shops.. ;) time to be a girl!! its the weekend after all. and anyway. i already had my tutorial this morning with reena. time to have a break. heeh.. or am i just kidding myself. :-? oh well.. i don't care. ;))
i like to shop on my own. well.. shopping with friends is great too.. but sometimes i just wana go in and out of a shop as fast or as slow as possible.. but of course, it's difficult for me to make up my mind sometimes about some things.. and i usually end up not getting it. well thats not bad either. ;) NOT getting stuff.

piracy

i have practically given up on trying to download mp3s (old or new) from websites.. they either don't work, or don't work.. must be the strict legal issues surrounding them.
but then.. today i got 2 zhou jie lun songs from his new album, from a fren.. wow. and its 224 kbps. not some crappy 96kbps mp3s.
the thing about studying abroad is.. i miss things like pirated cd-s. i make it my topmost agenda after getting off the plane and after a few rounds of hawker food.. but once i get to those stalls, the desire to grab whole stacks of them just disappears. well.. not necessarily so regarding dvds.. :D.. but audio cd-s.. nah. don't think i bought many when i got back. seeing that i always felt that i must!!

city walks

today i walked a total of a few km-s in the city. round and around..
going into places i've never been before.. surprising myself with what i found. sometimes u have to be forced to do things, then only u'll do it. well.. thats me anyway.
so i've decided that my site will be in some of the alleyways in king street, perth city. my intention was to improve upon neglected alleys and laneways. those which are rubbish filled and scary.. but then. it scared even me!!! venturing alone, i feared for my 'longevity' if i were to go down one of those alleys... confirming what i've metioned in my thesis proposal, about sevice lanes being unmaintained and isolated and psychologically intimidating. the designer daren't go into her preferred site!!!
so anyway, there was a particular alley beside esprit that looked pretty 'interesting'.. i didn't want to go down it, so i walked along the main pedestrian mall pathway, then roundnight activities are in northbridge. the cultural precinct of perth city.. well.. howed up from st georges tce. i tried to find a service lane or soemthing leading out from it, but perhaps there were to omany turns behind the building that my 'gauging' of the service lane couldn've been way off.
i figured that there had to be vehicular access to at least one end to realise my project. which was to make a part of the city come alive and accessible during the day and especially at nite. currently all night activites are basically centralized in northbridge, the cultural precinct of perth city. = night clubs, clubs, pubs, bars, cafes, jazz bars.. ETC ETC!!. its really hopping on friday and saturday nights. so anyway.. why can't some stuff be happening IN the cbd?? i mean, melbourne cbd is 'excelling excellently' in that department. hidden bars, tiny cafes, packs of people at nite. its a different city at nite. totally awesome. perth could be like that.. !
if i had an apartment someday, i wouldn't mind mine being accessed through an alley.. there's one called DURHAM HOUSE in an alley in king street. a 5 storey apartment building.. it looks really cozy and tucked away.. altho pretty quiet.

too many things to do and too little time!!!!!!!

virtual(ism)

the internet opened up loads of opportunities no one had before.
my research relies on it;
i can access malaysian newspapers from it;
check whats on in the cinema;
get songs, pics, videos;
keep in touch with mum and dad;
looking up old frens..
more and more so.

with the addition of friendster as part of my 'online experience', i found a number of very old frens whom i haven't spoken to since i graduated in 98. its amazing really.. but perhaps sometimes one needs to recognize the effects of talking about ur day to a little window on ur screen. knowing that, that person is either paying full attention to my little miseries of the day, or juz saying 'yes' and 'no' indifferentially.. because i do that too.. ;)

does IM provies a mask in which to hide behind? i often wonder if i'll be able to keep a conversation going if i were to be speaking to them face to face. heehe... becoz it just seems so ez here.

but it definitely is a mask in the sense that probably one tells more about oneself through the net than looking the person in the eye. perhaps it becomes a daily necessity to pour out the days complains and highlights to someone who happens to be online.. !

i keep telling myself to relate to REAL PEOPLE!!!! not REAL TIME PEOPLE... 8- :-<

it will be the downfall of human communication in the actual sense of the word.. or is it me being over reactive. hmmmm

sense

style is exhausted
content is pointless
art.. has no purpose

as 'shopgirl' writes in YOU'VE GOT MAIL to NY152.. 'i like to start my mails to you as if we're already in the middle of a conversation'..
i'd like to put that here to since this is my first blog..

today i squeezed myself into a cubicle in the uni library, after i've took down at least 12 books from the shelves. research is always annoying, altho enlightening.. this semester, i've got to do a hell lot of those.. [-( and i've always hated being holed up in the library.. whats more its of my own free will.. library atmospheres always get to me. either they're too cold, or too warm. its a good thing its winter, or else it'll be freezing. (yeah it freezes in summer 8-) and then the humidity is too dry.. or maybe that only applies to me coz i've got me contacts on. plus the fact that u can't really go to the library in ur sweatpants... curling up for half a day in jeans is not a good thing.

hello

helloooooooo!!